Thursday, April 11, 2013

It's Here

I sit and read. The sun drenching me in warmth like a hot shower that you desperately needed. 
The bluebird pokes its little head into its house and pops into the small hole of a doorway. I smile.
 Spring isn't's here. 

I almost don't know what to write. How can I put it into words, what God has done for me? 
It was so bad, and then so suddenly God made it better. I told my friend that I was sorry for the way I was before, how I pushed her and everyone else away. Sure that they were judging me and could never understand. And she replied that she only noticed it when it got really bad, then just as suddenly,I was ok again. It made me realize the battle that we were fighting was real. Just when I felt I couldn't hold my breath for one more second, satan pressing in on every side, God whispered "Nan". And I saw. And I ran. For once there was no shame in running! 

Me and my sister Claire, who also has hypoglycemia

It's good to be back!

When the storm subsided, I realized I had forgotten what the light looked like. And it was so good, so beautiful, that I was scared I would go back into the dark. So I prayed. 
 I heard a lecture, and the speaker said: "God will never let you go back to where you were, if you're surrendered to him." 
I haven't looked back since. 
And I realize that freedom isn't's here.

Cate and me being cool as usual.