It's Here

I sit and read. The sun drenching me in warmth like a hot shower that you desperately needed. 

The bluebird pokes its little head into its house and pops into the small hole of a doorway. I smile.

 Spring isn't coming...it's here. 

I almost don't know what to write. How can I put it into words, what God has done for me? 

It was so bad, and then so suddenly God made it better. I told my friend that I was sorry for the way I was before, how I pushed her and everyone else away. Sure that they were judging me and could never understand. And she replied that she only noticed it when it got really bad, then just as suddenly,I was ok again. It made me realize the battle that we were fighting was real. Just when I felt I couldn't hold my breath for one more second, satan pressing in on every side, God whispered "Nan". And I saw. And I ran. For once there was no shame in running! 

Me and my sister Claire, who also has hypoglycemia

It's good to be back!

When the storm subsided, I realized I had forgotten what the light looked like. And it was so good, so beautiful, that I was scared I would go back into the dark. So I prayed. 

 I heard a lecture, and the speaker said: "God will never let you go back to where you were, if you're surrendered to him." 

I haven't looked back since. 

And I realize that freedom isn't coming...it's here.

Cate and me being cool as usual.

I'm alive

Life has changed so much in so little time. One day after months and months of prayer, struggle, tears, stomach aches and lengthy conversations with mom, God gave me a burning desire to eat. And so I did, and instead of guilt I felt joy! Each day gets easier and easier and I am reminded God is faithful. I could go on and on...but I think this song describes it all...

The road

I am proud to report that Nan has gained 4 pounds in about two weeks!  This LBS road that Nan and I have been  traveling for sometime has been bumpy, twisty and quite often spiraling downhill. Today the road looks less dangerous.  There are helpful guardrails in place to guide her on this journey.  She has what it takes to make it, yet the road is long .  A very long road ahead of us.  But it is a journey we are willing to take because so much ground has already been covered and conquered.  It is all adventure ahead!  I'm sure it won't all be smooth sailing, but I am encouraged, for Nan has the desire to gain weight. She wants be able to run competitively again, but mostly to feel good.  God is faithful and we have learned a lot.  My prayer is for continued guidance for the days ahead.  With Spring around the corner, I am sure there are many sunny days ahead of us.

Sisters!  Nan and Cate when they are about  8 and 9 years old.
Best of friends.

Cate and Nan, 2013, still best of friends.  They have always been there for
each other, encouraging and praying for one another.

Please don't tell me it's mid February...

I have been slack.  The days have gone by and I haven't taken the time to update our journey.  It's been an up and down LBS journey.  Right now we are in a good place, I think.  Nan is determined to gain 10 lbs, then 10 more and who knows after that:)  She still battles thoughts that make her not want to eat and a tummy that doesn't hold a lot of food.  This is literally a stretching time for her and for me.  For her as she learns to continue to overcome the negative thoughts about food and to endure the stretching pain of feeling full after eating.  For me to continue to encourage her and to not become discourage when a setback occurs or  when I think she is not progressing fast enough.  Thankfully we have a Savior to go to and he gives both of us the courage and strength to continue.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.  Our family continues the traditional custom of giving up something in order to remember all that Christ suffered for us when he gave his life for our sins.  This year I am giving up my laziness about running in the winter and will run at least five times a week.  Today I ran in the drizzle, fog and cold, none of which I like.  But as I ran, I praised God and prayed for people I know who are suffering.  I recalled all that Christ has done for me  and my run was over before I knew it.  I liked that closeness with God.  I look forward to tomorrow's run.

Our really fun family trip to DC in December.

Cheers, Nancy