Life has changed so much in so little time. One day after months and months of prayer, struggle, tears, stomach aches and lengthy conversations with mom, God gave me a burning desire to eat. And so I did, and instead of guilt I felt joy! Each day gets easier and easier and I am reminded God is faithful. I could go on and on...but I think this song describes it all...
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Monday, November 5, 2012
Yes, please!
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| Always Hoping for the Sun Although today is Monday and we are back into school and chores, it is a BEAUTIFUL sunny day today! To celebrate after lunch, we finished up our favorite chocolate ice cream--HAZELNUT FUDGE! |
Ice cream is definitely a treat on an LBS diet. We found this at Whole Foods and it is made from all organic ingredients. The basic ingredients are coconut milk, agave, cocoa, vanilla extract and hazelnuts. It is positively delicious, the only negative is it goes so quickly!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
A beautiful day
It's a beautiful day. The morning cool and crisp, with fog resting on the still lake and geese calling back and forth. Then the sun, red and flaming peeps over the orange maples and thaws the air into a pleasant warm. The street scattered with leaves, the whole world hued in orange, yellow, red and brown.
Our chickens roam the garden, Clyde is lying out on the monkey bushes sleeping in absolute dog contentment. School is good, life is good. But me? Am I good? Each day seems to get better and yet worse.I definitely feel each day is harder than the last, and that's a little exhausting. But each hardship I face, I feel like I break through a little more. Painful inch by inch. Maybe things are looking up. I can't lose hope. One day I sobbed in moms arms until there was nothing left to sob, then she lead me upstairs into my room, gave me almonds and put me to bed. Today I woke so happy! Yesterday I had zero meltdowns, I was on a new path today. Until mom told me I couldn't bike today if I was also going to run. I totally lost it. I got so angry. Hysterical (I'm ashamed to say). Why? I felt like an animal was let loose in me. And it lasted 5 minutes or less. It left me stunned, tired and confused. Was I going crazy? This wasn't normal. I had just eaten too. Low blood sugar again. How? How had it gripped me again? Took me by the shoulders and shook me until it hurt. I was tired of hurting. Of course mom, dad and Cate understood, they always do. We realized I had had coffee that morning for the first time in a month of two, maybe that triggered it? You know, I don't know. I am still learning, I'm still struggling and holding on by a thin rope. But I am NOT defeated. With God holding me and my family ready to catch me, I'm not afraid. I can only hope for better each day. And I have a game plan.
1. Get good sleep 2. exercise 3. vitamins 4. gain weight 5. pray hard.
"Prayer first; prayer before anything else or there isn't anything else".
~ One Thousand Gifts
On a happier note, one of my favorite snacks is larabars . My favorite flavors are of course chocolate or mocha or coconut pie or carrot cake, but all I had was dried cherries and I do love the flavor cherry pie. So I tried making them myself, they were delish!
Here is my recipe:
Cherry Pie Larabars
1 cup of almonds ( or any nut you like)
1 cup of pitted dates (I used sunsweet)
1 cup of sugarless dried cherries (or any dried fruit you like)
Directions:
Process nuts in food processor until ground with a few small chunks. Pour ground nuts into another bowl.
Add the dates and dried fruit to the food processor, grind until a sticky paste forms.
Put the nuts, dates and dried fruit into a electric mixer and mix until well combined. Or use your hands.
Pour mixture into a greased small dish and pat down with a wet spatula until firm.
Refrigerate for an hour or two. You can cut them into bars and leave them in the dish covered with plastic wrap or I cut them into bars and covered each bar individually with plastic wrap so they're easy to grab and go.
* You can add mini chocolate chips into the mixture. Or cocoa powder and make them into any flavor you really like.
Our chickens roam the garden, Clyde is lying out on the monkey bushes sleeping in absolute dog contentment. School is good, life is good. But me? Am I good? Each day seems to get better and yet worse.I definitely feel each day is harder than the last, and that's a little exhausting. But each hardship I face, I feel like I break through a little more. Painful inch by inch. Maybe things are looking up. I can't lose hope. One day I sobbed in moms arms until there was nothing left to sob, then she lead me upstairs into my room, gave me almonds and put me to bed. Today I woke so happy! Yesterday I had zero meltdowns, I was on a new path today. Until mom told me I couldn't bike today if I was also going to run. I totally lost it. I got so angry. Hysterical (I'm ashamed to say). Why? I felt like an animal was let loose in me. And it lasted 5 minutes or less. It left me stunned, tired and confused. Was I going crazy? This wasn't normal. I had just eaten too. Low blood sugar again. How? How had it gripped me again? Took me by the shoulders and shook me until it hurt. I was tired of hurting. Of course mom, dad and Cate understood, they always do. We realized I had had coffee that morning for the first time in a month of two, maybe that triggered it? You know, I don't know. I am still learning, I'm still struggling and holding on by a thin rope. But I am NOT defeated. With God holding me and my family ready to catch me, I'm not afraid. I can only hope for better each day. And I have a game plan.
1. Get good sleep 2. exercise 3. vitamins 4. gain weight 5. pray hard.
"Prayer first; prayer before anything else or there isn't anything else".
~ One Thousand Gifts
On a happier note, one of my favorite snacks is larabars . My favorite flavors are of course chocolate or mocha or coconut pie or carrot cake, but all I had was dried cherries and I do love the flavor cherry pie. So I tried making them myself, they were delish!
Here is my recipe:
 |
| My homemade Larabar |
Cherry Pie Larabars
1 cup of almonds ( or any nut you like)
1 cup of pitted dates (I used sunsweet)
1 cup of sugarless dried cherries (or any dried fruit you like)
Directions:
Process nuts in food processor until ground with a few small chunks. Pour ground nuts into another bowl.
Add the dates and dried fruit to the food processor, grind until a sticky paste forms.
Put the nuts, dates and dried fruit into a electric mixer and mix until well combined. Or use your hands.
Pour mixture into a greased small dish and pat down with a wet spatula until firm.
Refrigerate for an hour or two. You can cut them into bars and leave them in the dish covered with plastic wrap or I cut them into bars and covered each bar individually with plastic wrap so they're easy to grab and go.
* You can add mini chocolate chips into the mixture. Or cocoa powder and make them into any flavor you really like.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Getting to the finish line
She can run like the wind in the race to win. She is swift of feet and smooth like a cat, her moves natural and sure. But in the daily task of food, she loses her ground for when it is time to eat, she eats like a caged bird and the fat woman on the scales. She is disciplined of mind, too disciplined, and she has tricked her stomach into letting her brain decide whether she is hungry or not. When her stomach screams for food, her mind becomes angry, rejecting that feeling. She cannot win this fight, this race for her health. Or so her mind tells her, tricks her and uses her. And when that happens the world is suddenly an ugly place and life is bad and food is bad and we are bad. She wants to be healthy, to eat healthy. Suddenly there is good food and bad food. She eats only the good, in her mind. Lettuce and veggies and beans and fruit. Her mood swings like the pendulum of a clock, this way and that, causing anger. The regrets come later, after she has fed her body and life is good once more. Ups and downs, highs and lows. No constant mood or feeling. This is hypoglycemia at its worst. I silently scream do not starve your body, do not listen to your mind, and I pray and hand her almonds or whatever snack I can get my hands on.
No more running from food. The finish line is a long way off.
You will be victorious. You are born to win.
Monday, October 1, 2012
The battle continues
The battle is not yours. It is mine. 2 Chronicles 20:15
LBS. What does it mean? Low blood sugar to any other person just might mean you are hungry and you feel a little edgy. I know I do at times. But to some, it is a serious condition. It causes severe emotional and physical symptoms in those who experience hypoglycemia. And it is a condition that can be managed, if taken seriously by the one who has it and by their loved ones.
Nan, for the past month, since she began running Cross Country has had many severe LBS attacks. Two weeks ago her dad and I were ready to send her to a counselor for help. It seemed that nothing we said or did made a difference to her. Her LBS was constant and her anger and disposition, unmanageable. She saw herself as a healthy, normal weight girl, but at 5'11" and 113 lbs. she was slowly starving herself. Eating became an issue with her and food was bad in her eyes. Through much prayer, many talks with us and her sisters, she allowed God to work in her heart and stomach. So many foods, she claimed, made her stomach hurt. I think she was just hungry and experiencing hunger pains that would never go away. True she needs to stay away from sugar, dairy and gluten, but all other foods are ok for her to eat.
So we began a journey. She allowed me to fix all of her foods the first week, snacks too. She put up with my encouraging her to eat seconds, to make dessert, to enjoy every mouthful of food. I had to remind her to eat every two hours, to never leave home without snacks, to plan ahead her meals, and that all foods are good for her (she only eats very healthy foods anyway. What teenager gets excited about buying chia seeds?!).
I felt battle worn, but it is a good thing that I am stubborn and lean on Jesus. I told Nan over and over that I would never give up on her (the sad thing about LBS is once the anger mood is past and they have eaten, remorse sets in and guilt). We told her that we are here for her, no matter what. I told her she is a fighter, strong in mind and spirit. With God, she cannot fail.
So today I can reprot Nan hasn't had LBS all week! Thank you Jesus! She ran XC on Saturday and placed 6th out of 177 girls, through the rain and mud, setting her best PR! She did experience stomach discomfort before the race, but she persevered. Way to go, Nan!
LBS. What does it mean? Low blood sugar to any other person just might mean you are hungry and you feel a little edgy. I know I do at times. But to some, it is a serious condition. It causes severe emotional and physical symptoms in those who experience hypoglycemia. And it is a condition that can be managed, if taken seriously by the one who has it and by their loved ones.
Nan, for the past month, since she began running Cross Country has had many severe LBS attacks. Two weeks ago her dad and I were ready to send her to a counselor for help. It seemed that nothing we said or did made a difference to her. Her LBS was constant and her anger and disposition, unmanageable. She saw herself as a healthy, normal weight girl, but at 5'11" and 113 lbs. she was slowly starving herself. Eating became an issue with her and food was bad in her eyes. Through much prayer, many talks with us and her sisters, she allowed God to work in her heart and stomach. So many foods, she claimed, made her stomach hurt. I think she was just hungry and experiencing hunger pains that would never go away. True she needs to stay away from sugar, dairy and gluten, but all other foods are ok for her to eat.
So we began a journey. She allowed me to fix all of her foods the first week, snacks too. She put up with my encouraging her to eat seconds, to make dessert, to enjoy every mouthful of food. I had to remind her to eat every two hours, to never leave home without snacks, to plan ahead her meals, and that all foods are good for her (she only eats very healthy foods anyway. What teenager gets excited about buying chia seeds?!).
I felt battle worn, but it is a good thing that I am stubborn and lean on Jesus. I told Nan over and over that I would never give up on her (the sad thing about LBS is once the anger mood is past and they have eaten, remorse sets in and guilt). We told her that we are here for her, no matter what. I told her she is a fighter, strong in mind and spirit. With God, she cannot fail.
So today I can reprot Nan hasn't had LBS all week! Thank you Jesus! She ran XC on Saturday and placed 6th out of 177 girls, through the rain and mud, setting her best PR! She did experience stomach discomfort before the race, but she persevered. Way to go, Nan!
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| Here she comes to the finish line! |
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| With her sister Cate, who finished fourth, just seconds ahead of Nan. Both are fast girls! |
Hazel-Nuts and Acorns
"Then came October, full of merry glee." ~ Spenser
Today is October 1st! I love it when a new month starts on a Monday, I feel like There is a clean slate before me with no mistakes in it, that I can mess up and scribble in. Today (of course) was raining. But it was such a beautiful autumny rainy day that it didn't matter. My sister Cate and I woke up and went on a run in our coats all around the golf course path in our neighborhood. We came back and had hot oatmeal with berries and yogurt. Mom had her left over grain free pancakes with a black-berry sauce she made. I was a tad jealous. We did school, I did violin and then the rest of the day I did homework, wrote or read and sipped tea. I drove dad and I to get some fresh eggs from a farm close by in our area, it was a beautiful drive passing the yellow cow pastures with different colored cows, and gazing at the changing leaves on the trees. (Don't worry I looked where I was driving too) It was so nice to not be busy for a change and have absolutely nowhere to go. It was the perfect start to a great and exciting new month!
I also tried some new foods and recipes that I'm super excited about! Have you ever tried chia seeds? I've read so many places how beneficial they are and that they have more omega-3 fatty acids than flax-seeds. So mom and I finally bought some and we really like them!
A few weeks ago My sister Lauren who is expecting came to visit with her husband and little girl Gabriela. Ela and I had fun picking apples together. Perfect for getting into the groove of fall.
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Today is October 1st! I love it when a new month starts on a Monday, I feel like There is a clean slate before me with no mistakes in it, that I can mess up and scribble in. Today (of course) was raining. But it was such a beautiful autumny rainy day that it didn't matter. My sister Cate and I woke up and went on a run in our coats all around the golf course path in our neighborhood. We came back and had hot oatmeal with berries and yogurt. Mom had her left over grain free pancakes with a black-berry sauce she made. I was a tad jealous. We did school, I did violin and then the rest of the day I did homework, wrote or read and sipped tea. I drove dad and I to get some fresh eggs from a farm close by in our area, it was a beautiful drive passing the yellow cow pastures with different colored cows, and gazing at the changing leaves on the trees. (Don't worry I looked where I was driving too) It was so nice to not be busy for a change and have absolutely nowhere to go. It was the perfect start to a great and exciting new month!
I also tried some new foods and recipes that I'm super excited about! Have you ever tried chia seeds? I've read so many places how beneficial they are and that they have more omega-3 fatty acids than flax-seeds. So mom and I finally bought some and we really like them!
A few weeks ago My sister Lauren who is expecting came to visit with her husband and little girl Gabriela. Ela and I had fun picking apples together. Perfect for getting into the groove of fall.
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| The apple tree |
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| She loves to run and pounce on you |
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Mom made a lot of fried apples |
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Rain.
Last night I went to bed full of thoughts and plans for the next day, that involved being outside. This morning I woke while it was still dark. The trees tossing in the wind. I dozed off until a dim light seeped through my window. I gazed out at the day. It was pouring rain. But somehow, even though my plans for the day were inevitably ruined!! I decided it would be one of those great rainy days. And it was.
Mom taught Cate and I school while we sipped green tea. Clyde (my Australian shepherd) and I tramped about through puddles, and I have accomplished a lot more school work then I ever thought possible.
But the one thing that always makes my day no matter what the weather is, is breakfast. I know that's weird, but I love breakfast! Studies have shown it's the most important meal of the day and that excites me even more. This morning I was craving oatmeal. Having time I decided to amp things up a bit.
I microwaved a serving of oatmeal, stirred in some cinnamon/stevia and coconut milk and topped it with chopped apples and homemade cinnamon almond granola.
It was heaven. Like eating apple cobbler for breakfast!
Mom always taught me to make the little things in life exciting!
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